Dear Mama
I shouldn’t be waiting for Mother’s Day to say all this, but, being the thankless children
that we are, I did. I cannot begin to imagine the nightmare of motherhood that
you had lived with 6 children, one of which was myself. An ugly child, a loud-mouthed
and rebellious teenager, and moody, nagging, volatile and hot tempered woman. I
think you get extra points just for putting up with all that. Though not a
mother yet myself (and at the rate I’m going will probably never be one), I have
seen enough of this life to at least imagine how difficult it all is, and that
it never ends. However, I don’t ever remember you complaining about it. I don’t
remember hearing an insulting word from you before, or any indication that you
had any regrets about anything related to us. Yes, there was discipline (and a
lot of it), but nothing demeaning. What I remember of you, and will always
remember, is your intelligence and sense of humour and adventure, your respect
and dignity, your innocence and lost-little-girl look when it comes to our
ridiculous Sudanese womanly traditions, and your never ending hard work and motivation
despite everything. And what I remember most, and will always remember, is your
continuous and unconditional love and support. Through the worst days of my
life, battling an impending depression, you were the best friend and guidance
that I had. And regardless of all the backtalk and the lashing out from me, you
always had something good to say somehow. I regret that I had to go through so
much and sink so low to realise that I didn’t have to look far at all to find
the one person who would stand by no matter what, regardless of my
On this day, and on every day, I wish you all the best that life has to offer. I wish you
continuous success to add to your already impressive successes; I wish you
health and a long, prosperous life; I wish you the joyful company of the man we
all love until the end of all our days; I wish you finally avenge yourself
against everyone who has wronged you. And I wish you what I am sure you will
have in the end: paradise unlimited, acceptance, and everlasting rest. I hope I
can be just half the mother to my children that you have been to us. And I hope,
desperately, that someday I will make you proud of me.
Thank you Mama for being my friend. I love



  1. your mama will be proud the moment she reads your blog.. actually she's lucky to have such an inspiring daughter.

  2. My Dearest
    As usual, you have came out with your beautiful surprise. You not only remembered the so called "mother day", but you came in advance with those very beautiful touching words. I was not, though, surprised with your very much concern, as that was always your habit. Actually you are not telling the truth by describing yourself by "thankless", or "ugly child, a loud-mouthed
    and rebellious teenager, and moody, nagging, volatile and hot tempered woman", because I have never seen or remembered you like that. You were so beautiful and lovely baby, with your pretty soft thick black hair and beautiful big eyes with long dark lashes. You used to easily sneak to every body's heart with your lovely innocent child's talk with Kiwi accent and beautiful voice perfectly singing all your kindergarten and your brothers school English songs. Thereafter came your much interest in painting, in which you were excellent, then the writing including this blog. Having to come to learn Arabic language I can't blame your rebellion, with such Sudanese harsh school. However, you immediately won the first prize in the next Quraan competition, and many more afterwards. As for now, you always been the focus in your family, relatives and friends. You don't know how to keep things only to yourself, always thinking about others, so loved by your very extended family towards all sides, ma sha Allah. You think I am not already proud of you? Of course I very much do. I always ahmid Allah for giving me such considering blessed (barreen) children, may Allah give you all the best, as I always do ask Him in my prayers. You think you already passed marriage age? You are still in your twenties. If you don't remember I do, every single moment of your birth. I can't blame your sometimes volatile hot tempered manners. That has not been your usual manners. I think it had to do with your daily racing with time, struggling to saving dying peoples lives, which will subsist very soon, in sha Allah, when you either become more used to it or just leave it. However, I am sure, in sha Allah, you will make an excellent mother, and wife to who ever deserves to be the lucky one to get your hand, as you, as well, own every thing you need for that position, including deen, tarbia and housekeeping.
    As for me, I thank you very much for what you said. However, I consider myself just a mother. A mam doesn't know any thing else more than just love her children and do every thing for them even a sacrifice if she needs to. If she didn't then she may not be a normal mother. I hope I have been a good example for you, as there is always a feeling of "I wish if I could do this for my children". I here declare to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta3ala, as I did many time in Macca and Madina Harams, and in many prayers that "3afia wa radhia 3annik wa 3an your brothers and sisters in names as long as I live, and ask Allah to Yardha wa Ya3fu 3annakum as well" amin


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